Hahrper & the Thing

Steven Isaac Hahrper has devoted his life to the absurdly romantic pursuit of women he barely knows. What Hahrper doesn't know, is that he is haunted by a terrible monster...an ancient Thing which feeds on Hahrper's senseless, fathomless lust. When Hahrper tires of hollow affairs—and meets a woman with whom he could share true love—the Thing refuses to let Hahrper go. True love contains no nourishment for the Thing. And It will not lose Its fantastic meal-ticket Hahrper. And, oh, what high jinks ensue...Terrifying visions. Devastatingly erotic visions. A full-length pornographic, yet moralistic Dr.Seuss-style story. Trips to fully-realized personal hells for Hahrper and all his friends. More naked women than even Hahrper could shake a stick at. And, of course, a climactic battle fought atop a fifteen hundred foot replica of Hahrper's own medium-sized pink penis. All this pulse-pounding, boob-filled action is accompanied by such timeless Steve Hahrper-penned songs as: "Scrumdillyicious Poontang", "Magnet Face", "Why There Must Be Titty-bars In Heaven:", "On The Slopes Of Sarah", and "All Roads Lead To My Dick"...to name a few. A modern fable about the triumph of true love...and the boundless idiocy of the human male.